Ten Clues for the Clueless

I've been getting back into the swing of things in terms of submitting my short fiction, just because I've been writing more of it. And co-editing anthos, and hearing a lot from various magazine editors. And thus, from within the cocoon of that context, I have ten clues for the clueless.Specifically, if you submit your fiction to a publication:(1) Don't query about your story two weeks before the average length of time the magazine says it responds in.(2) Don't withdraw your story in a huff two weeks after submitting it to a publication with a one-month response time.(3) Don't email an angry response to a friendly rejection.(4) Don't get upset if an editor you emailed a submission to rejects it a scant two hours later. Be happy you got a quick response.(5) Don't, if sending a snail mail submission, include a naked photo of yourself with your submission.(6) Don't send, without a query, a 40,000-word submission to a publication that only takes fiction up to 10,000 words.(7) Don't leave a rambling telephone message for the editor about how you've got some really cool SF that's "true to life" and based on your "psychic experiences."(8) Don't leave a telephone query for the editor with your phone number in another area code and expect a call back.(9) Don't send poetry to a publication that only takes fiction.(10) Don't send any submissions to a publication that's been dead for almost 20 years. (Imagine my surprise to get a submission to Chimera Connections earlier this year, which folded back in 1990.)