10 Reasons Y I Rarely Read YA

10 - No time to read anything, period--too busy trying to stave off senility.9 - Tired of reading about teens who turn out to be The Chosen One. (One time, just one time, why couldn't The Chosen One be some tired single parent with four kids, just trying to catch a break.)8 - Turning 40 soon and can't identify with anyone who has good knees and all their teeth.7 - Sad that my own closet or window or kitchen sink doesn't open onto a glorious fantasy land, and can't stand to read about people who do have that amenity, especially when they're too damn young to appreciate it.6 - Don't hang around teenagers in real life; why would I want to in my leisure time?5 - Hate to read about people who can't bench press their own weight, don't have kids, don't have thousands of dollars of credit card debt, and probably have never been to prison yet have tattoos.4 - Sick of hearing I should read more YA from YA writers who are already richer than God.3 - Don't want to encourage a genre that promotes self-determination for hormone-and-drug-crazed monkeys who only really become human beings when they turn twenty-five.2 - Never read YA even when I was YA.1 - Reading more of it would make it impossible for me to have my own original ideas when I write my own YA novel for the bestseller lists.