Evil Monkey's Vamp Pyres of the Intertubes

O gather close old friendI have a tale of woe for you:It was a [cliched and stereotypical] nightand somewhere someone was typing a rantabout wasting your time posting rants.Ooo--scary. A single click lay between meand some awfully weird text laid out in frightening1980s-style Web Master centered Gravitas(not a font, Fred).As my eyes became coated with overblownand obvious extended metaphorI could feel myself losing some essentialelement of creativityand came here to tell youabout it at a time when I was tootired to write my own fiction.In the deep of nightdaily you will risepreened for today's bon motbut be strongresist the siren callthat mixes your vampire metaphorwith some other myth.O My Dearest Ancestral Writer Friendcalm that fiend within yer foetid breast.Blog not! Blog naught! Blog gnat!Noooooooooo...not that.[Expiring with blush of anguish and hand held up to headin languished purple Heathcliff moment...]