ENTER NEW CHALLENGER: STORMTROOPER

Stormtroopers aren’t just trained for combat, they’re genetically grown in test tubes and spawned for the sole purpose of conquering upstart little star systems. When the Empire opens a can of whupass, there’s stormtroopers in the can. They have high tech blasters. They have communications more advanced than flags and smoke signals. They have giant snow stomper thingies. They have shiny armour. Oh yes. Whupass.That said, stormtroopers can’t beat ewoks for shit. Therefore, they lose. End of debate.It thus becomes a matter of who would win harder and betterer, which is a tough call. A brace of pistols may not look like much when compared to a blaster, but it’s well know that it isn’t the tool that matters, only what you do with it. Kenobi may say they fire with precision, but all evidence indicates that stormtroopers cannot hit a target. At all. Pirates don’t even need to worry about taking cover in a fire fight.There is the question of whether or not the ball of a musket would actually penetrate stormtrooper’s armour. A close range, certainly, but weapons range is not in the pirate’s favour in this instance.It really doesn’t matter, though, as all standard issue Imperial armour is designed to kill the wearer if nothing else in the battle does. Seriously[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym-xHehd4NI[/youtube]Ewoks and sticks, remember? Sigh.The same such advantages in combat apply to the ninja as well, adding that the vision- and hearing-restricting helmet also aid the ninja in sneaking up on and shanking a stormtrooper, which further enables them to steal the armour, disguise themselves and subvert the Empire from within.What, then, is the deciding factor? Deceit. Stormtroopers aren’t above playing dirty, and have a habit of laying traps. See what happened to Han Solo? They turned him into sachetorte. And he, I might add, is a mighty fine pirate. You don’t see the Empire making sachetorte out of ninjas, do you? No. Because they’ve already subverted the Empire from within, and they’re the one making the sachetorte.

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Pirate # b. My name isn’t “Brian”, you’ve got the wrong pirate!

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Ninja# b. Return fire with a dramatic stare made entirely more menacing in your ninja mask.