the pitch
OK. Down to business. Jeff returns in a matter of days. My control over the blog is only fleeting. The sensible thing to do, the responsible thing to do, is to loot this thing’s assets while his attention is elsewhere. Quick now. Everything must go. Who wants to buy space on the blogroll? Who wants to run hideous ads all over the nice blue background? I will be securitizing all future income streams from all youtube videos posted here and selling shares on the NY stock exchange, using the comments as collateral. This makes sense. It does. It has to do with derivatives and the Black-Scholes equation, it’s very complicated. Trust me, I am wearing a tie. I will be selling off that bird on the globe at the top of the page. Who wants to make a bid for Evil Monkey?
Bids in the comments please. The important thing to remember is that this all makes sense, and it is all perfectly legal, and it is all in the finest traditions of responsible 21st century capitalism.
 Disclaimer: this is not legal, and does not make sense.