Evil Monkey's Thought For a Sunday

(Miraculous defecation?)Jeff:Hey, Evil! What've you been up to?Evil Monkey:Watching those Godzilla movies, like you asked me to. Gawd, most of them suck.Jeff:Thanks for doing that. I've got so much other work to do on the new novel, I haven't had time for the research aspect.Evil Monkey:You know, they're not very realistic, these movies.Jeff:You think? Rubber costumes. Cardboard cities.Evil Monkey:No, not that, idiot. I mean the poop.Jeff:The poop?Evil Monkey:Yeah, the poop. The crap. The shit. The deuce. The stinking piles of stool. The scat. The scattered scat full of berries and bits and pieces and stuff. The feces I throw against that thar wall.Jeff:I got it. I got it with the first synonym. But what about it?Evil Monkey:There ain't none.Jeff:What?Evil Monkey:Just think on this. You've got a huge monster-thing, a devourer of cities. A true leviathan. There should be huge hay bales of shit on the streets. There should be cars and trucks buried in the stuff as it comes hurtling down from on high. The humans in these movies should feel like ants in Central Park during a mounted policeman parade. Godzilla should be able to destroy a Japanese city just by unloading fecal bombs. But there ain't no poop in these here movies. Not even a tepid squeak of a fart.Jeff:And this has been bothering you.Evil Monkey:The poop mise-en-scene is totally off, and that throws off the characterization. It's like divining your fortune from sheep entrails--whatever's in there speaks to Godzilla's character, whether it's bits of people or old tires or beluga whales or lobster or whole cows. How can I believe in a creature that doesn't give a shit?Jeff:Try harder?Evil Monkey:Here's some try harder--right there on the wall. You believe in me now, don't you?Jeff:Hard not to, really, much as I try.