Mah Eyes, Mah Eyes

My left eye has gone blind from reading steampunk stories.My right eye has gone blind from reading weird fiction.Thankfully, Ann's not gone blind yet--and my third eye decided to open up right as the other two were going blind, and now I'm reading something composed on its thorax and cinderhausenblickblick by a multi-dimensional thing out of Alpha Centauri. But, the tale's not quite right, and now I'm going to have to reject the story...and this thing has got tentacles in twelve dimensions, and shark's teeth in twenty and claws in six.I'll be lucky if I'm not ripped from gultch to zillip.