Evil Monkey Hates...And Hates...And Hates...

Evil Monkey:I hate you.Jeff:I don't hate you. I love you.Evil Monkey:Hate me. Hate my stench. Hate my feces on the wall.Jeff:I hate the cat's throw-up more. But I'm curious. What else do you hate?Evil Monkey:I hate the bitter inner lining of walnut shells. I hate the smell of socks in the summer when the rain hits dead leaves. I hate people hating on Margaret Atwood. I hate when you complain about needing bifocals and being deaf in one ear. I hate V.S. Naipaul. I hate people who hate complex writing styles. I hate the New Emo Left. I hate idiots.Jeff:You don't seem to hate that bottle of vodka you're swigging. Isn't it a bit early?Evil Monkey:I'm on Estonian time. I hate people on Eastern Standard Time.Jeff:I hate people who ask me what Steampunk is. Why don't you just google the 1,800 entries of bloggers who've written posts titled either "What Is Steampunk?" or "Steampunk: This New Thing I Just Discovered and Will Now Reinvent the Wheel Defining."Evil Monkey:I hate Steampunk.Jeff:I hate Monkeypunk.Evil Monkey:I hate Vanderpunk.Jeff:I hate that you've been gone so long.Evil Monkey:I was busy in Hell. Negotiating some deals with the Devil.Jeff:What does the Devil hate?Evil Monkey:Oddly enough, the Devil loves everyone. Which is why I hate him. Or her.Jeff:I hate the internet, links to blog entries, facebook, twitter, and youtube.Evil Monkey:That's just love subverted. I hate self-righteousness and selfish people and readers who think every story has to be about them.Jeff:I hate non-readers, people on the cell phone in quiet places, and poodles. I hate (p)Rick Scott. No, that's not right. I loathe Rick Scott.Evil Monkey:I hate people who say "Yes, but." I hate those more awesome than me.Jeff:....Evil Monkey:But I love Fridays.Jeff:Yeah, me too. Can I have some vodka?Evil Monkey:No.Jeff:Are you going to be around more now?Evil Monkey:Now that I'm not hanging out with Drinky Crow so much...yeah, probably.Jeff:By the way, I always hated your stupid videos. They suck.